


Consequences

by Fangirlwriting



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, But just barely, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Gen, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Pre-Episode: Accepting Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlwriting/pseuds/Fangirlwriting
Summary: How does one go about figuring out how to get rid of yourself when you are not technically a person?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 40
Kudos: 210





	1. Chapter 1

Personally, Virgil wasn’t a fan.

That wasn’t to say that he didn’t understand why they were necessary. Consequences. Karma. A big old, “Fuck you!” from the universe when you had most certainly earned it. There were even times when he could appreciate consequences. Seeing Roman get snapped at when he’d been a jerk was certainly amusing.

But  _ personally…  _ Virgil was not a lover of consequences. Because when you earned the consequences, other people made sure you understood that fact.

Which is why Virgil could not  _ believe _ he was doing this.

He was honestly a little surprised he could still access the other side of the mindscape. He thought he would have been kicked out if he tried, or maybe that Janus and Remus would have figured out a way to lock him out.

He was more surprised when no one jumped out and yelled at him as soon as he stepped into the commons. That was probably a good thing, as Virgil wasn’t sure he’d be able to properly defend himself due to the massive burst of nostalgia that hit him as he looked around. Over in the kitchen was where he would sit against the fridge in the early morning and talk to Janus as he made him the exact same breakfast every time. (Toast with butter. Virgil had been a very picky child, which he was pretty sure would surprise no one.) That was the spot on the ceiling where Remus would dangle during dinnertime before Janus snapped at him to get down. The couch over there had become a cuddle pile during many movie nights. Over there in the corner was where Janus had calmed him down from the first panic attack he’d ever had. That black spot on the carpet was still there from where Remus set fire to it.

Virgil found himself slowly walking forward, looking down the hallway off to the left. Janus’ room. Remus’ room. There was the empty spot on the wall where his own room had used to reside.

Virgil moved quickly past the hallway.

He walked towards the half-wall that separated the kitchen space from the living room. That spot behind the bookshelf there was where he hid when he had panic attacks and didn’t  _ want _ Janus to find him. That nook over there was where he would hide when Remus would corner him after chasing him through the house.

That spot by the coffee table was where Janus and him had screamed at each other for a couple hours on end. While Remus watched from the ceiling. Virgil wouldn’t have ever known he was there if he hadn’t looked up in frustration as Janus walked away. He still hadn’t quite forgotten the scared look in Remus’ eyes. Remus never looked scared. And then he…

Virgil brushed the memory off before he dwelled on it for too long and moved over towards the bookshelf.

(There was the spot where Janus had chased him up the side as he practiced crawling like a spider.)

Janus had ruled this as off-limits to Virgil and Remus for years. In fact, Virgil could only remember actually looking at the contents of the bookshelf a handful of times. But Patton certainly wouldn’t have what he was looking for. And Logan wasn’t likely to ever even consider whether or not such a thing would be possible. And even if he thought Roman did have anything about this particular subject, if he found Virgil in his room that would not end well for him.

The only book Virgil remembered from the shelf that might have what he was looking for…

There it was. Mechanics of the Mindscape. Janus was apparently quite curious as to how things worked as one of Thomas’ sides. Virgil had long grown used to that fact, and was more than a little surprised when he discovered Logan also seemed to want to know everything he could. Of course, the kinds of things the two pursued were different. Hence why Virgil was currently back here.

(There were the philosophy books Janus had read them as bedtime stories.)

He checked the index first. It took him a second to find what he was looking for, but eventually he flipped back to a section that sounded promising.

Duck Out: A side can potentially remove himself from Thomas’ consciousness. This would remove all effects of the side on Thomas as well, though whether or not it would erase any memories of the side is uncertain, and to be frank, I have no desire to test such a thing. I am far too essential to Thomas, and I would never allow him to be affected in such a way. I would advise whoever may or may not be reading this to consider the same.

Virgil rolled his eyes. That was Janus for you. An ego the size of the moon. Virgil looked a little further down the page to find that Janus had included instructions for how a side could duck out if it had been decided that it was necessary to do so. Virgil made sure to read the instructions carefully. The last thing he wanted was to screw up, potentially hurt Thomas, and make everyone hate him even more than they already did.

(There was the spot where Remus had dropped down from the ceiling, looked at Virgil with more hurt than he had ever remembered seeing from the other side before, and whispered, “You aren’t really leaving, are you Virgin?”)

Virgil put the book back on the shelf when he was sure he understood everything well enough, and was about to leave the way he came when a familiar voice sounded.

“My deepest apologies, I must have forgotten to spray for unwanted pests.”

Virgil let out an irritated sigh and turned to his right. “Hello, Janus.”

Janus narrowed his eyes. “Virgil.” He tipped his head slightly in the direction of the exit. “Get out.”

“Lovely to see you too.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Light reading,” Virgil said, gesturing to the bookshelf.

“Oh yes, that is exactly how this works. You are most certainly allowed to leave _us_ and then decide to come back whenever you care to. Please stay as long as you wish. You are absolutely wanted here.”

Virgil crossed his arms over his chest and swallowed back the hurt that he was definitely not feeling. “Get over yourself, I was just leaving.”

(There was the spot where he had beaten Janus for the first time in a game of Hide and Tackle.)

He was just about to elbow his way past Janus when he was caught by the arm. “What were you reading?” Janus asked, narrowing his eyes.

Virgil yanked his arm free. “None of your business.”

“You’re right. It definitely isn’t my business when you came here in the middle of the night and ignored the fact that Logan practically houses a library in your new _home.”_ Janus spat the last word like it was something foul.

(There was the spot where Janus taught Virgil how to make his voice growl. He had beamed proudly at Virgil the first time he got it right.)

Something must have shown on his face, because Janus’ own shifted. “Virgil,” he said slowly. “Why are you here?”

Virgil scowled. “None of your business.”

(There was the spot where he had acted out The Nightmare Before Christmas With Remus.)

(There was the spot where Janus had read them A Christmas Carol every year, making sure to start with enough time for them to finish on Christmas Eve.)

(There was the spot where Remus would dangle him off the back of the couch and whisper, “Long Live The King,” before dropping him whenever they watched The Lion King.)

(There was the spot where Virgil gave Remus a hug the first day he appeared and reassured him, “It’s okay, I can be a  _ way _ better brother than boring old Princey.”)

(…And there was the spot where he’d begged Remus to stop chasing him with his morning star because “Please, Remus, it’s not funny, you’re scaring me!”)

(There was the spot where he’d snapped at Janus for the first of many times to “Stop being so passive aggressive, could you just listen for once?!”)

(There was the spot where they laughed him into silence the time he suggested maybe listening to the other sides could help sometimes.)

(You left for a reason, Virgil. You have to remember that.)

(You’re leaving for a reason. You have to remember that too.)

Janus’ brow furrowed, and he let his mask fall, just a little. “Virgil?” he asked. “Are you alright?”

Even if he asked, even if he wanted to, they would never let him come back here now.

Such were consequences.

Virgil set his glare in determination. “None of your business,” he said one last time, and sunk out before Janus asked any more questions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, to be honest, I hadn't originally intended to make a second part of this, but then quite a few people asked for it in the comments, and I sat down to try planning how would go, and it ended up coming out incredibly easily, so... voila.

As soon as Virgil sunk out, Janus walked over to the bookshelf, but he couldn’t be sure which book Virgil had read. He spent about ten seconds considering and trying to piece something together out of the books the others wouldn’t likely have, when a familiar voice spoke up.

“Jay-anus?”

Janus looked over at the hallway. “Hello, Remus. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I had a weird dream about Virgil,” Remus mumbled, walking over and rubbing at his behead. Janus was about to come up with an excuse when Remus continued, “He was wearing your hat, but he’d painted it bright purple with green dicks and polka dots.”

“I see,” Janus said, deciding that this likely wasn’t related. “You should go back to bed, Remus. It is most definitely not too late.”

“You can’t make me do anything,” Remus said through a yawn as he turned and walked back over to his bedroom. Janus was pretty sure it had been a couple days since he’d gotten a full night of sleep, so he wasn’t surprised that Remus was too tired to function.

As soon as he disappeared back into his room, Janus turned back to the bookshelf, but after another ten minutes of fruitless searching, he decided he wasn’t going to find anything tonight and went back to bed.

…

He woke to something feeling _very wrong._

Janus was in control of much of the mindscape, particularly the subconscious, so when something was off, it was certainly very hard for him to tell.

It was also hard for him to guess exactly what it was that was wrong.

“Remus!” he called, pulling on his hat and checking his cape in the mirror. “I’m going to talk to the others!”

Remus stuck his head out of his door. “Why?”

“I’ll be back soon,” Janus said, in lieu of answering. Well, it’s not like he was going to tell Remus that he thought something was wrong with Virgil and he was worried.

Janus couldn’t enter the other side of the mindscape without permission, which was not at all annoying, especially in a time of potential crisis. Janus also didn’t have the time or energy to knock for hours on end, so he picked up Remus’ swinging battering ram, and set it up to knock against the door until one of the others noticed.

Finally, Logan yanked open the door.

“Deceit.” He did not look at all ticked off. “Is there a reason you’re here so _early_ in the morning?”

“I never have reasons behind anything I do,” Janus said, casually flicking his fingers and sending the battering ram away before it swung back down and smacked Logan in the face. He may have been worried about Virgil, but that didn’t mean he was about to spill his guts to Logan of all sides.

“Excellent, well I was in the middle of my morning coffee, so if you don’t have reasoning behind coming here,” Logan said, turning and nudging the door to close behind him.

Janus stuck his arm through at the last moment. “Would you at least hear me out?” he said, growing more than a little exasperated. He did very often come to visit the others without worrying about something being wrong, after all.

Logan sighed and pulled the door open again. “Very well, but make it quick. I have quite a bit to do today.”

“Well, thank you so much for making time for a side so inconsequential as myself,” Janus said dryly as he stepped past Logan into the conscious side of the mindscape. “I am sure you’ve noticed by now that something is off with Thomas.”

“Off how, exactly?” Logan asked.

Janus paused and blinked at him for a second. “You haven’t noticed?”

“I have not had the time yet to check up on Thomas today,” Logan said. “Give me a moment.” He paused, and a second later a puzzled look crossed his face, and before Janus could say anything else, he sunk out, likely to talk to Thomas.

“Wait, stop—” Janus started, but Logan was gone before he could finish. Janus gave a heavy sigh, and was about to attempt to pull him back when a new angry voice spoke up.

“Deceit? What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

Janus turned to face Roman. “Logan let me in,” he said, as Patton poked his head out of what must have been the kitchen and started into the room.

“Logan?” Roman asked, sounding like he very much disbelieved that fact. “Why would he do that? You must have tricked him in some way.”

“Now kiddo, let’s take a deep breath,” Patton said, putting a hand on Roman’s arm. “Deceit, do you have a reason for needing to talk to us?”

“Yes,” Janus said, trying not to get annoyed, as doing so would definitely make the conversation move faster. “I came here because I believe that something may be wrong—”

“Morality! Creativity!” came Thomas’ voice, and Patton and Roman both vanished before Janus’ eyes. He groaned and threw his hands up in the air. “With Anxiety,” he finished to the now empty room. At least he didn’t have to deal with anything like _this_ with Remus.

Janus paced around the now empty space for a second as he debated waiting for them to come back, and eventually Remus appeared in the entryway. “Okay, what’s going on?” he asked. “Why are you here?”

Janus turned to face him and sighed. “I think something is wrong with Virgil,” he said.

Remus’ eyes widened and he started into the room. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. But I think it would be best if we just went back home for now. I’ll prop the door open so we can get back in if we have to.”

Remus looked unsure, but eventually they both headed back to their own commons, and Remus disappeared into his room, probably to destress by breaking things or killing innocent woodland creatures in his side of the imagination.

Janus went to make some sort of breakfast for himself, mostly just to give himself something to do, though he doubted he would actually eat anything, not with the concern or the wrongness that had settled over everything.

It took a couple hours of pacing and walking to and from the bookshelf for the wrong feeling to fade, but thankfully, it eventually did. Janus was doing his best to keep an eye on what was happening in the real world with Thomas, and he couldn’t hide the sigh that escaped when Virgil appeared back with everyone else.

He was about to sink back to his own room when Roman said, “And you are nothing compared to the others.”

Slapping a hand over Roman’s mouth was second nature at that point. It didn’t stop the anger that rose at the action, however.

Janus stormed back over to the door and was about to walk through and give Roman a piece of his mind, when the book was yanked out from in between the door and the frame and the door slammed shut.

Janus gave an angry huff and barely stopped himself from kicking at the door.

Well, at least he should tell Remus everything was fixed… probably. He headed over to Remus’ room and knocked, and Remus opened the door a second later.

“Virgil’s fine,” he said.

Remus gave a short relieved sigh and threw the dead squirrel he was holding over his shoulder. “What happened?”

“I have no idea,” Janus said, throwing up his hands. “I’ll let you know if anyone ever bothers to tell me.”

Remus grumbled in a little bit of irritation of his own, and Janus finally walked back out to make some breakfast. He was starving.

…

His explanation ended up coming from Patton, who opened the door from the other side of the mindscape as he was doing the dishes from dinner that night.

“Deceit?”

Janus put the last plate on the drying rack and turned to face Patton in the entrance to the kitchen. “Ah, finally decide that we deserve to be in on what’s happening? Nice of you,” he said in a deadpan.

“I’m sorry, I would have come sooner, but I was making a card for Virgil.”

Janus did a double take. “He… he told you his name?

Patton nodded. “He got really upset because we all saw him as the bad guy, and he did this thing called ducking out—”

Janus made a mental note to hide that book.

“—and so we all went into his room to get him, and we had a talk about anxiety being helpful, lots of heartfelt words. So he told us his name.”

Janus let out a long slow breath and looked back at Patton. “…Thank you,” he said finally. “For telling me.” He paused. “And if you hurt him again I’ll murder you all in your sleep.”

Patton blinked in surprise and narrowed his eyes slightly. “Hey, he probably left here for a reason, you know.”

“He probably ducked out for a reason too,” Janus said, narrowing his eyes much more than slightly.

Patton sighed and looked down. “I never claimed that we’re perfect,” he said finally.

Well then. As it turns out, the whole of the mindscape had been very cruel to Virgil. Janus found himself, likely just for the moment, hoping that it could get better for him now.

“Get out,” he said to Patton.

Patton sighed again. “I just wanted to tell you,” he said, turning to leave.

“Patton,” Janus said suddenly, and as Patton turned back around he hesitated. “Tell Virgil…”

Patton turned all the way back around. “Yes?”

Janus hesitated again.

_“Consequences,”_ he had once told Virgil. _“Everything has consequences. Be careful that you get the ones you want. It will not be easy.”_

The consequences of pushing Virgil away like he’d done again last night were now ones he had to deal with.

“Don’t mess this up,” Janus said to Patton, and turned to go find Remus, ignoring Patton’s sad sigh in the background.


End file.
